We got clobbered with snow last weekend. I’d say we got about two feet of it. It began snowing very early Sunday morning and didn’t stop until almost 24 hours later. My dear husband was working a double shift, which means I was home alone and left to do the shoveling on my own.
Initially, I thought I would do my first bit of shoveling at about noon. By 8:30am I became concerned that there would be way too much accumulated by noon and I wouldn’t be able to handle it. So out I went at about 9:30am. I was bundled up in a warm coat, scarf, hat, mittens, and clumsy winter boots – the kind one wears not for fashion, but for surviving a Canadian winter.
As soon as I stepped out the front door, I noticed my next-door neighbour shoveling his property. I smiled and said hello and he did the same. We aren’t especially close. In fact, we aren’t close at all. We say hello-how-are-you whenever we see each other. Occasionally we engage in a little bit of small talk during the summer when we’re both out more, but that’s about it. I wouldn’t call him a friend. Anyway, we exchanged hellos and he went on with his shoveling while I got on with mine.
Over an hour later, I had finally cleared all I could. I was tired, my face was flushed, my heart was pounding. It was quite a work out. I went inside and relaxed a little while I felt the ache in my arms and shoulders begin.
By 1:00pm it was time to shovel again because a lot more had accumulated. I went out there and my neighbour was there again too; this time with his eleven year old son. I shoveled, carrying snow from one end to another by the shovel-full. It was exhausting work. I looked at my neighbour and had a thought that would probably make any feminist cringe.
I was a little peeved that my neighbour wasn’t offering to help with the shoveling. Quite honestly, I would have likely politely declined his generous offer anyway because I don’t like to inconvenience people. However, if the roles were reversed and my husband J had been out there shoveling while the neighbour’s wife was shoveling by herself because her husband wasn’t home, I KNOW J would have helped. Furthermore, if I was out there alone and the neighbour’s wife was out there alone, I’d definitely help her as well.
Then I wondered if I had any right to be peeved or disappointed or disgusted with his behaviour. I mean, he certainly doesn’t owe me anything. So does this mean that chivalry is dead? Does it mean that I’m way too nice for being the kind of person who offers to help people when I can? Does it mean people, in general, tend to only look out for themselves and for what is theirs?
I also wondered what this says about my neighbour. I mean, I’ve already found him to be a little self-centered. His priorities, according to my own personal beliefs, are a little warped. For example, he gives a hell of a lot more attention and love to his car than he does to his children. So maybe he’s just a self-absorbed bastard and I shouldn’t be offended.
Then I started to wonder if this says something about me. Maybe he thinks I’m a bitch and I don’t deserve his help. Maybe I’m the rotten neighbour and that’s why he didn’t offer to help. I wonder how many people out there, if any, think that I’m a rotten bitch. And I wonder how many feminists will think me a pathetic excuse for a woman for even wanting a man to offer to help me with some shoveling during a snowstorm that lasted about 24 hours.
Initially, I thought I would do my first bit of shoveling at about noon. By 8:30am I became concerned that there would be way too much accumulated by noon and I wouldn’t be able to handle it. So out I went at about 9:30am. I was bundled up in a warm coat, scarf, hat, mittens, and clumsy winter boots – the kind one wears not for fashion, but for surviving a Canadian winter.
As soon as I stepped out the front door, I noticed my next-door neighbour shoveling his property. I smiled and said hello and he did the same. We aren’t especially close. In fact, we aren’t close at all. We say hello-how-are-you whenever we see each other. Occasionally we engage in a little bit of small talk during the summer when we’re both out more, but that’s about it. I wouldn’t call him a friend. Anyway, we exchanged hellos and he went on with his shoveling while I got on with mine.
Over an hour later, I had finally cleared all I could. I was tired, my face was flushed, my heart was pounding. It was quite a work out. I went inside and relaxed a little while I felt the ache in my arms and shoulders begin.
By 1:00pm it was time to shovel again because a lot more had accumulated. I went out there and my neighbour was there again too; this time with his eleven year old son. I shoveled, carrying snow from one end to another by the shovel-full. It was exhausting work. I looked at my neighbour and had a thought that would probably make any feminist cringe.
I was a little peeved that my neighbour wasn’t offering to help with the shoveling. Quite honestly, I would have likely politely declined his generous offer anyway because I don’t like to inconvenience people. However, if the roles were reversed and my husband J had been out there shoveling while the neighbour’s wife was shoveling by herself because her husband wasn’t home, I KNOW J would have helped. Furthermore, if I was out there alone and the neighbour’s wife was out there alone, I’d definitely help her as well.
Then I wondered if I had any right to be peeved or disappointed or disgusted with his behaviour. I mean, he certainly doesn’t owe me anything. So does this mean that chivalry is dead? Does it mean that I’m way too nice for being the kind of person who offers to help people when I can? Does it mean people, in general, tend to only look out for themselves and for what is theirs?
I also wondered what this says about my neighbour. I mean, I’ve already found him to be a little self-centered. His priorities, according to my own personal beliefs, are a little warped. For example, he gives a hell of a lot more attention and love to his car than he does to his children. So maybe he’s just a self-absorbed bastard and I shouldn’t be offended.
Then I started to wonder if this says something about me. Maybe he thinks I’m a bitch and I don’t deserve his help. Maybe I’m the rotten neighbour and that’s why he didn’t offer to help. I wonder how many people out there, if any, think that I’m a rotten bitch. And I wonder how many feminists will think me a pathetic excuse for a woman for even wanting a man to offer to help me with some shoveling during a snowstorm that lasted about 24 hours.
3 comments:
I dont think I'd take that personally. I think its the way the world is going now a days. It's hearing and seeing snow like that that makes me so happy Im in a condo now, and dont have to worry about that.
But I love the pics, looks like you're going to have a white Christmas. We haven't got alot over here, they were saying maybe a lil bit of flurries on the 24th, but its going to be about -2 so I dont think it will last.
It's a hard one, Anna.
I don't know how much shovelling he had to do as opposed to how much you had to do...
Maybe he had to go out in an hour and his wife had been on his case to do the shovelling, and he figured he couldn't do both -- finish his own and help you -- within that hour.
Maybe he thought you've got a big strong husband who can do it, so why should he...maybe he was wondering himself, why should I help if he won't?
Maybe he didn't want to get on J's bad side by showing him up or something, depending on what he knew or didn't know.
On the other hand, maybe your neighbour is as shallow as he sounds (about the car and his kids).
I guess I'd say this: I KNOW chivalry still exists. I would have helped you, no matter what, or I would have inquired, at least, or told you why I couldn't. HE would have, I know it. It's kind of like automatic.
At the very least, if I COULDN'T help you, I would have expressed some sort of concern or well wishes.
I guess the moral of the story is, buy a snowblower!
Have a wonderful holiday season...
Hairy Crizzmoose Anna!
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