third time's a charm

We were sitting in the examination room, where everything looked too familiar, waiting for the doctor to arrive and get this over with. We were both holding our breath and letting out nervous sighs as we tried to calm ourselves. We had been in this exact same situation twice before and the results had been heartbreaking.


So I sat, naked from the waist down with only a large paper towel to cover me, on the examination table with the stirrups beside my knees and my feet dangling. I kept looking at the monitor beside me and the one directly opposite me in the top corner of the room - the one I would watch while I lay back. Finally, the doctor arrived. She wasn't our doctor because our doctor was busy in the operating room. I wondered if she was performing an IUI or the In-Vitro procedure and giving some other couple hope. I had never met the doctor who walked in. She was very pleasant and very calming. I liked that. I liked her.


I knew the drill. I layed back on the table, put my feet in the stirrups, and spread my knees apart. She placed the lubricant on a condom, slid the condom over the "wand" and pushed it inside me. She asked if I was experiencing any pain and I told her it was fine. My eyes were glued to the monitor in the corner.


Within seconds she said, "Oh, there are two!" J and I both cried. Two meant twins. J immediately asked if they were ok. She told us she was checking that at the moment. We both held our breath. She measured the first one and said, "This is perfect - measuring eight weeeks! It's exactly what we want to see." Then she found the heartbeat and made us hear it. We cried more when we heard that fast and strong heartbeat. She asked, "Can you see the heart beating?" We both eagerly asked "Where?!" All we saw was a white blob inside of a black blob inside of a big cloud of white. She pointed it out and it was so clear - almost like a little white flashing light. That was my baby's heart beating. My eight week old baby was doing wonderfully and thriving. We cried even more.


After I felt that relief, I immediately began to worry about the second one. The doctor said she was looking for the second one, which is often hidden behind the first one. I was concerned that the second one might be much smaller or that we wouldn't be able to hear that heartbeat. My concerns were quickly put to rest as the doctor smiled and said, "This is beautiful! This one measures eight weeks as well. They're the same size and growing symmetrically. That is very very good!" And then we heard the other one's heartbeat - just as fast and just as strong. We cried some more.


And just like that, we went from being nervous wrecks about the possibility of our third miscarriage within a year to the wonderful realization that we will be having TWINS! We couldn't be more thrilled!


I'm still worried, of course. We still have about 32 weeks to go and, although the babies are doing wonderfully right now, we have no guarantee that all will continue to go well. But right now I am on top of the world because I heard those precious heartbeats!